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What is your job as the Groom?
The level of involvement from the groom in wedding preparations varies greatly from nods of approval while watching TV to carefully timed and wall mounted wedding countdowns. If you would like to be more involved in the planning of your wedding then do so and make sure that family members who may try to take over don’t leave you out in the cold. Your bride may assume that you will have no interest in things such as flowers, wedding stationery and menus, and you may not, but a good idea would be to think of what aspects of the day you will have a significant contribution to and then let your bride know that you are ready to help.
One of the first and most important things that you will have to do is choose who you would like to be your best man. Traditionally it is your brother who is usually best man however if you do not have a brother or are not especially close to him then your closest friend is a good candidate. If you have two really close friends then don’t worry there is nothing stopping you from having two best men. Other friends, brothers or cousins can be given the job of ushers. Give your best man plenty of notice so he can start preparing the famous best mans speech and also drop hints about what sort of stag night you would like. It is a good idea to make sure your best man is not going to be someone who is likely to leave you stranded or tied to a pole naked on your stag night. On the day itself ask your best man and ushers to help with directing guests around areas of the venue and gathering groups for photographs when required.
It is important that you talk to your fiancée about the type of wedding you both would like. A lot of grooms want the bride to have her dream day however there may be certain things that you envisioned and that’s fine discuss these with her. Make sure you visit potential venues together; important decisions like this should be made together. When you know how many guests you can have help your bride compile a guest list, perhaps you could call your parents to confirm whom to invite from your side of the family. Other decisions that should be made together are the choosing of the music, photographer and the honeymoon. If you have an artistic or creative background you may wish to be more involved in the table decorations and favours etc.
Practical duties will include checking that the legalities are in place for whatever type of wedding you are having. You will need to apply for a marriage license so check when this has to be done. If it is a civil wedding you will have to contact the superintendent registrar for the district you are marrying in to obtain marriage notice forms, one for each of you. This declare that you are legally free to get married and it must be signed and returned with birth certificate and any other relevant documents. For a religious wedding the schedule must be collected in person not more than a week before the service. This must be given to the minister before the service.
The groom traditionally organises the wedding rings, buttonholes for himself and the best man, and also the cars. It is best if you do some research first through magazines and websites so you have an idea of the different options out there. The buttonholes are normally pretty easy to organise with the help and advice from a good florist. When organising the cars and rings you may want to take your bride with you.
You should also buy gifts for your best man and ushers to show your appreciation for their help. This could be anything from a leather wallet to vouchers for sports events or dinner. The mothers of both you and your bride traditionally get presented with bouquets of flowers at the reception so it would be a good idea to check that the arrangements have been made for these to be delivered to the venue. A nice unexpected gift for you bride would certainly be a nice treat for her before the wedding day.
What you and your best man will be wearing on the day is obviously another decision to be made by you. You can choose from the traditional morning suit to the full highland dress.
All that is left for you to organise now is your own speech. Thank everyone for their contributions in helping and for sharing with you, the most special and memorable day in you and your wife’s life. Also you should give the mums their gifts, toast the beautiful bridesmaids and then head off to the dance floor with your gorgeous bride.